When communication between two partners fails during a long marriage, it may be explained away as individuals that have run their race, but when you find communication difficult before you marry, it is better to seek pre-marriage counselling at an early stage. This will help you define your future.
Some People Are Naturally Quieter
Although some individuals have a lot less to say than their partner, when you find conversations are stilted and difficult, it may be because you’re still learning about each other, what to say and when. Pre-marriage counselling will focus on the positives and the reasons why you fell in love and have decided to become married.
This is the period where you are exploring the relationship. Pre-marriage counselling may be all that you require to help you improve your skills with communication. It is easy to avoid certain subjects when you are in the early stages of a relationship, because of the worry or fear of upsetting your new partner.
Do You Talk?
There are many matters that must be discussed and planned when you have decided to spend the rest of your lives together. By being open, you can ask your partner how they find having conversations with you? You might discover whether you are a good or poor listener. When the counselling goes well, you will find out if you allow the other person to finish talking before you relax, sit back, ponder your reply, acknowledge what they say and empathize with their point of view, even if you have a different opinion.
You will learn to find time to talk, when you are both able to relax and share information, rather than being distracted by children, the television or the Internet.
You may have to learn to hold back with your comments until your partner has completed their part of the conversation. Where you find this difficult, it is a new skill to learn, but will increase the quality of your communication because you will certainly find plenty to talk about in the future, even if it is not all about you.
